Like a Shot of Something Brown

If I was given a life raft the first thing I’d do is
look for a hole to pop in it. My heart is heavy,
but my head is buried, so all you get is the
cruddy leftovers. Could I ever, really ever,
be the man you need, when every little
shift in the breeze brings me to my knees?

Sometimes I wonder if I’m a tender little savage,
unable to not wreck everything with my mouth,
do you know what I’m talking about? and if so,
can you let me know because things are headed south.

I’m traveling alone, marrow and bone. Tomorrow is torn
from the flesh of the next person you’re going to disown.
Tonight we light the last effigy ablaze and wait for morning
to come and show us what ash we made.

Plunging necklines and cliffs, careful where you slip.

Throw out the tin you kept that photograph in.
But don’t throw out that feeling that it had meaning.
My brain is congested and possibly bleeding.
I saw you under a tree that was leaning,
and wanted to lean in.

When I think of my feelings, I think of the sky,
or I think of animals, when in reality we’re
probably just a clump of something in between.

This void doesn’t have a warning, there’s no sign
at the side of the road that says ‘don’t look this way’,
you only realize you’re fucked-up upside down when you
you spot your feet marks on the bottom of the clouds.

My heart is a dart you throw at the ground.

Get me drunk, kiss me on my cheek, spin me around.

Pick me and slam me down like a shot of something brown.

 

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Glitch

I’m a customizable bowl of vapors. Capers in my salad. Sad 80’s Rock ballad
on the jukebox. Your future king. Drama sewer queen. A stand-in for a llama.
Follow me down the spiraling staircase.
Down to the
lower
trauma.
You can’t save me.
The backyard backdoor no-escape, cape-in-the-mud pummeling
that comes around on the second.
You can’t evade this.
It’s like clockwork sock-to-the-jaw. Come to realize nobody’s interested in Nabokov.
Why she asked? He’s not your type, I replied. I’m an orange away from an old fashion,
but an apple away from death. Be careful where you go bobbing.
The ghosts of Paris are out in London. Push the pin into the map and listen
to the Earth scream. I’m a modern gentlemen with a polished spin vomiting gin.
Just a glitch in a cyborg’s dream.
Listen to the rioting choir sing.
Watch the enraged mob dance.
Interchangeable residences and lovers like flipping pages in a waiting room.
Turn your head and cough. Take your heart and split it in two.
Keep half in your hand and the other buried underground.
Count the syllables and make sure your shirt is tucked in.
We’re submerged in an avalanche of non-meaning;
of words imbued with less and less importance,
the pure silliness of expression
is suffocating.
I gag from my own urge to speak, to joke, to point out the street signs
and read aloud from menus, to ask questions whose answers
I neither desire for nor care about. The marionette just mouthing his lines.
Just a wooden boy without anything to say.
Point and shoot.

 

Lay Down with the Jesters

My Mayan ruins… my life in stitches… take this photograph of me smiling.
Every man is an island. My jacket is rent in Mexico City. My disposable camera heart.
Take this image and remember me for my jokes. My teeth are strong.
My phone chimes with hollow alerts… we live for little moments of validation
while life passes us by… my Google Home answers my roaming calls.
You can buy yourself out of anything. Praying to a bottom shelf God.
Lost in plot points and soundbites and applying effects to a simple smile…
Extra ample simple syrup we drown in a teardrop that’s not even ours.
My cat bites me like he hates me. I sit in a crumbling building mumbling faintly.

First poem or last poem or one in between who knows? I’m no sugarcoat donut
misspelled sunset I caught late, rode the last wave, my heart is a pillowcase.
Take it in your hand to suffocate, my throat is the ultimate polka dot. What a bull’s-eye!
What a somersault alibi she wrapped up in that night. Spread thin like mayonnaise light.
Lay me down with the lambs, let me sleep with the queens, in the barn with the jesters. Smile at the morning. Clouds like gravity blankets. Dissolving into the pancake simulacra. Wipe the hashtag from my eye. Shake the egg so the yolk is woke. I can not tell a lie.
10:15 AM. I’m your favorite pagan. Pillaging your wiggling body. Shit. Let’s just stay in.

These ancient dreams drip and percolate the sound of my grief catch in my teeth.
Turning the technological tides like a flurry of flotsam the soul is squeezed dry. Rip tide.
Put ink into my skin and hide. Personal hideaways are dreams of mine… eyes of Iodine. Lip to lip we touch time. Suspended in the grip of life I let love slip like a disc in my spine. I’ve touched the sparkle and shine that left me stumbling in the brine. Fumbling my line.
Up to my thighs in grime. Like an asteroid I can end it all. One phone call. Upend it all.
Like a frog hopping tall dropping cards at the mall, my shutter speed full of unbelievable
tales of never-ending joy and despair… a spoke in the cosmic wheel that makes me squeal with terror and delight. An over-cerebral zebra at the watering hole drinking in his ego.

At the point of no interest I stand on the precipice with my selfie stick.

Pining For Skywriting

I don’t write no more.
I don’t fight no more.
I just lay down and die some more…
Got me spitting out love songs, ya dumb Pisces.
Got me sitting in a tumbler tumbling in the high seas.
My brain was never great but it’s getting dumb and dumber.
A stranger in a strainer fuck that one is the strongest number.

Do you remember the day I told you I’d never stray?
Do you remember the brake lights the night I drove away?

I tell people I no longer write.
I tell people I no longer sing.
I never did in the first place I mean.
I tell them I’m one of those floating human beings…
Sixteen going on forty-something what a wonderful dream.
Baby pink first thing we do when we come into the world is scream.

I’m not a scary man I like my life medium rare
with a side of Ginger and Marianne.

Give my your electrocuted rain-soaked puppy dogs to hold.
Give me a dimple made of Astroturf I’ll make sure it’s asshole proof.
Give me a place to hide and a wave to ride I’ll give you an amazing alibi.

Just get me out of here.
Get me a stout of beer.

My resting state is always on the run.
My brain is like a hummingbird.
My hands are browsers running through your hair.
Daughter of an anvil son of a semi-automatic gun.

Anybody that sells you the world thinks they’re the center of it.
Sign up for my newsletter I’ll tell you how to get better.
I’ll tell you how to get perfect sitting on your perch of shit.

It’s 2018 and I’m not waiting and I’m not writing.
I’m just whining I’m like everybody else pining
for skywriting.

silly little stilt walker

A crevice apart; splitting hairs and sharpening darts…
A neon sign blinks, when the last softball team clinks
their glasses… all asses, holding our soup hands out.
For stew or ghoolash; when did you see me smile last?
I was a gladiator, Scrabble champ. I’m going places,..
I’ll send you a postcard from the goddamn mountaintop.
I’m a son-of-a-gun, hole-in-one, dimple in my cheeks.
I’m your humble parakeet. Mermaids and layaway plans.
Burn through journals. Hard-boiled gargoyles are so loyal.
Lay down like a speed bump; cut down like a tree stump.
Snuggled up in the back of a banged-up red pickup truck.
Silly little stilt walker, come be my apple orchard manager.
We’re extra everything extravaganzas… George Costanzas.
I’m half vowels; an easy score. I’m transcribed from afar,
from the back of an oblong bar singing Smith songs…
I could be the boy on the moon or your cornstalk menace.
All the seasons at once, every year… I’m a LA angel.
With all the proclamations of a drunken preacher,
I drink orange juice and make sure the cat is fed.
Ain’t this a diamond mine of dynamite.
Ain’t this a drag…

This skinny dance avalanche
life of a hologram…

One or two
more of them
is all I ask.

 

Colliding Particles

charcoal on the walls
diamonds in my lungs
troubleshooting on a whim
getting high on self-doubt
overloaded by memes
cancelled by debt
intermediary friends
smoking pipe dreams

crate and barrel roll into the street

All hail the burger king

Comedy in threes but tragedy only takes one

Colliding particles dancing at the show
window down California sun
Megawatt Instagram smile
Riding on a camel’s back
fingernails cropped out
in the corner doing poet work
living through the dissolution of truth
documenting every feeling
till they’ve all lost all meaning

The word counts swell
poems fail
ships set sail

Dissecting texts till your heart collapse
translating tremors till they taper

Battle Scar Galaxy

I’m an astronaut on rotting cheese. I’m six feet deep buried to my knees.
The whole whirling world is whorls, earthquakes, hurricanes and whores.
I’m a snail afraid of the razor’s edge with a 21st century laser in my hand…
Shifting through the gigabytes… drenched by dripping fuel from jet planes.
I’m a little like Buck Rogers… but nobody’s heard of Buck Rogers anymore.
I’m not sure I know who Buck Rogers is anymore. I’m an outdated reference.
I’m a little like a velvet Elvis… star of my one-man self-centered crisis center.
This small world of shopping malls, selfish selfies, and soft-served hearts
has me transfixed and entranced — my pants fall down doing a white boy dance.
I’m going to a party of mimes. Everybody’s eyeballs pointed sideways nowadays.
We explain our strange feelings by copy-and-pasting other’s strange feelings.
I’m a crustacean on a Central Coast pier. I’m crawling out of a Cubic Zirconia.
It’s a diamond made of radio waves and gaslight. Carefully curated masks.
Gorging at the News Feed trough, living through a paranoid pretend presidency.
Not sure if I’m the brave puppet or the cave shadow, or if it’s mental telepathy;
I’m paintball splatter… but it don’t matter in this beautiful Battle Scar Galaxy.