The Stunner and The Middle Manager

Jeremy had no idea what “dance your ass off” meant until he met Janelle. Scott thought he only loved Samantha until that night at Winston’s. Rebecca was a runner until she went on that blind date with Tim. Sarah curled her hair until Mike told her he liked it straight.

The moon played hard to get until the sun called it on its lies.

The cat rolled on its back and let the dog lick its belly.

The grandfather clock struck twelve and a little coocoo bird popped out.


She was sitting at the bar with one leg bouncing on the other. Her brown hair was arranged fashionably in an intricate bun. Her green eyes were soft and luminous. I wanted to approach her but what could a middle manager in the paper business say to a stunner like her? I sat there, staring at my scotch, watching the ice melt, wondering what she likes to eat for dinner…. What she looked like before she grew boobs and learned how to mix a Tom Collins…. What she is like in bed, with her legs wrapped around my waist, nibbling on my ear.

She took the olive from her martini and held it between her lips, then swallowed it and put the garnish stick on the counter. It was an elegant and ribald gesture. Sexy as hell. There should be a word for this thing I felt. Instant, and brief, love.

I had to get away…

It wasn’t yet seven in the evening. Traffic through the tunnel was still a nightmare. I had time left to kill. Kill it or be killed by it. Isn’t that how it is in this world?!

The only other customer in the place got up and walked out. The breeze from the door sent a shiver down my arms. She turned my direction, towards the sunlight coming through the frosted window panes, and smiled. I struggled to appear uninterested, to disguise the fact that she affected me, so I thought about work, how the Cleveland branch is under-performing, and about Ike and the stupid war in Korea.

The bartender went over and pressed a button on the jukebox. A record rotated in position and Blue Moon began to play. It’s my favorite song. I couldn’t resist singing a few lyrics. You saw me standing alone. Without a dream in my heart. In the mirror I saw that she was singing along to it too, and that she kept glancing my direction. My heart began to beat a cha-cha beat.

What powers a woman in a pencil dress and pearls has over us men! We are by far the weaker gender.

It was time to go…

I picked up my fedora and placed it on my head, making sure it wasn’t tilted — I didn’t want to get pulled over tonight, last time Sam pulled me over he told me, “No more warnings!” I stood up from my seat to leave, adjusting my tie and dusting off my sleeves.

Just then she spoke, “Hey, where are you going? The night’s still young.” Her voice was soft and full of secret treasure. A pang of longing went through my body. I shook with the yearning. I understood why the Greeks went to war for Helen and salmon swim all the way upstream.

If only I was a different man! If only it were 1952 again and I was 23.

“I gotta get home,” I confessed. “The wife’s got a pot roast waiting in the oven for me.”


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