Twenty Questions

Twenty Questions:

  1. What is the strangest, most invasive question a complete stranger has ever come up to you and asked?
  2. Why does the moon look so beautiful when I’m out jogging alone?
  3. A Pabst Blue Ribbon takes away the harsher thoughts, but then I’m left with just the tender ones, is anyone willing to trade?
  4. Do you have a bashful bladder?
  5. When you listen to songs that you used to listen to with your love, do you ever feel like singing along, and then when you do it slowly morphs into a shout until you’re angrily belting it out the open window?
  6. This pizza I’m eating is high in calories, but it makes me feel good; do you ever masturbate while watching the news?
  7. Do you ever think about calling someone and then all of a sudden they buzz you? And you think it’s ironic, or a coincidence, until you realize it’s neither, because it happens all the time.
  8. I’m masturbating while watching the news. Do you like pizza?
  9. I’m right here. Go ahead and touch me, but only if you’re sure you’re going to leave a dent. Are you confident you’ll be able to affect me? I’m only going to let you do this if you’re serious.
  10. I’ve got so many things I want to know about you, we can play twenty questions all night long. If I told you I was a confectioner of conversation, would you believe me?
  11. Does modern art make you upset?
  12. When you see attractive mannequins in store fronts, do you ever imagine having sex with them? As a kid, did Smurfette make you horny? (Okay, that’s actually two questions, I’m cheating)
  13. Oceanic travel used to be highly dangerous… what people used to do to come to America!  Does growing old scare you.
  14. What’s your favorite piece of sushi? You’re not allowed to say yellowtail.
  15. The day after drinking my throat is always so parched. It’s because we’ve been talking again until dawn. Why are your words so dry?
  16. If time isn’t a curved bow, why do you play it like a fiddle?
  17. Whistling in the restroom is an aggressive, anti-social act; what’s your favorite tune? If I can guess it, you owe me a peach.
  18. The world is round and ripe and if it were a piece of fruit you’d take a bite; so how can you really expect anyone would let you carry it around in your hand?
  19. I like tea. Do you like tea?
  20. We’ve got all night. If I went outside and began to yell at the rockets we shot to the moon, would you come stand besides me and shout and shake your fists also? Or call the cops? I need to know before I hold your hand.
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One response to “Twenty Questions

  1. 1.do you masturbate while watching the news
    2.because you see it
    3.probably
    4.doesnt everyone
    5.no but i might dance
    6.only once
    7.oh yeah
    8. sometimes
    9. hardly
    10. why not
    11. when it is supposed to
    12. a. no b. ha ha no
    13. when it creeps up and yells BOO
    14. rainbow roll
    15. i hung them out on the line
    16. because it has strings
    17. row row row your boat
    18. because i can expect really well
    19. yessiree
    20. i would probably want to video it

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