Street Poem For Deadbeats And Capitalists

I’ve been having trouble selling my poems on the street lately…

The 0ther day I approached a gentlemen on Melrose and went in with my pitch. “I have a poem for sale, only $10! It’s a Christmas/Recession sale.”

“$10?” He howled. “What a ripoff!”

“Well, I also have one for $5.”

“What’s the difference,” he asked.

“The one for ten dollars has fifteen lines and the other one only has ten,” I told him.

“Fifteen lines for ten dollars, that’s outrageous,” he argued, as if there is some going rate on high quality poetry.

“Well, these are some finely articulated lines. They’re gorgeous and revelatory and will make you orgasm in your cargo pants. You know, they have a special pocket just for that.”

“Ha. What are you, a poet or a comedian?”

I inhaled deeply and answered… “Well, what’s the difference? Anytime I open my mouth people burst out laughing.”

He paused, looked around at the people passing on the street,  swinging shopping bags and indifferent to the postcard malaise. “Okay, fine,” he said somewhat irritatedly. “Give me the one for five dollars.”

I dug it out of my pocket and looked it over before handing it to the man, taking his bill in my hand like a baton — one man passing the disease over to another. “Okay,” I said. “Water it three times a week and take good care of it.”

He shook his head before walking off down Melrose into the winter setting sun. Somewhere nearby a car honked and a homeless person belched in the face of a delicately inebriated starlet.

It was almost seven pm so I rushed home for Jeopardy.

It’s getting harder to sell these poems on the streets these days. People just don’t have the time or money for high art in a recession.

So, now I’m giving them away on the Internet! Enjoy…

The cat
laughed
at the mouse
who asked him,
“aren’t you going to try
to eat me?”
But the cat just sat there,
on its butt,
laughing and
laughing…

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6 thoughts on “Street Poem For Deadbeats And Capitalists

  1. hello, by chance i chanced on your writing(there r axidents or not-NOT)
    anyway i totally enjoyed reading this, this is
    amazing really. a jewel no a box spilling over with jewels or words like glitter- wonder of that LA inthe background-so so interesting in the absolute best best sense of the word, thankyou, excuse my intrusion, come and visit any time
    but my work isnt as good as this and thats not
    because of any psych attitude but cuz its true in the sense of focused dependable communication
    delicacy, soft humor murmuring, just so many things that are great. thnx again.

  2. such fun!

    reminds me of when i was selling poems on the page at the ren faires…

    i am in ventucky so i will have to go looking for you on melrose–i wonder if you are near where my friend helen had her store retail slut

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