BREAKING: Sarah Palin Owns Stock In Pitchfork And Torch Company; John McCain Creates Zombies

I just came from CNN where they are reporting that Sarah Palin owns major stock in a pitchfork company. Could this be angry mob-profiteering from our little snow princess of the north? Perhaps she’s not whipping her zombie following into a epithet-screaming, racist riot for the political gain but the monetary. I mean, there must be something else behind it because it sure hasn’t helped McCain’s or her polling numbers. The more paranoid and ridiculous Sarah or John get, (palling around with terrorist?) the more reasonable Americans are saying to the McCain/Palin ticket, “Yuck…. Thanks but no thanks.”

I did some more research and discovered that a few years ago McCain had invested in a machine that turns human hate into life-force! It is my opinion that McCain is now sucking the wrath out of his crowds and using it to become younger. There is a chance, my friends, that McCain doesn’t care about the election but is just using it as a venue to steal my father and his friend’s already fading vitality.

Just look at the crowds going into his rallies. See how lifeless and hollow they are. See how they ambulate oddly and stiffly. McCain’s plan is working. Note how he brags about the unnatural longevity of his family tree. He is using his crowd’s disdain and hate for Obama to rejuvenate his cells.

I am not kidding. John McCain is becoming a monster and is using his campaign to do it.

While John feasts on the souls of his followers Sarah profits from the surge in Redneck Bros. Pitchfork and Torch Corp. stock that she owns.  Talk about an October surprise!

I called up my father to warn him and his friends of the danger they face if they continue to visit those  soul-draining websites, if they continue to read those brain-dead emails sent to them by bloodsucking social conservatives and fanged corporate radicals.  He didn’t pick up so I sent him an email that said, “Do not be afraid of Barack Obama. The things in these emails are lies, dad. Please think for yourself.”

His reply broke my heart. It’s too late. John McCain has stolen my father’s humanity. He wrote back, “Obama frightens us desperately, son.” He said more but none of it was human. It was horror. Something about Castro and Socialism and Terrorists. What’s so different about Obama than Kerry and Gore? How has Rove been able to turn the Democrat archetype into Che Guerva? Hmm… I wonder.

That is not my father talking. He never uses the term ‘son’. Someone took away my regular, ‘I vote Republican because I’ve always had’ pop and replaced him with a slander-spewing, fact-rejecting, ‘Obama is the end of the world’ somnabulist. I’ll miss you, dad. We may exchange Christmas cards and sports facts for years to come, but 2008 will be the year I think sadly upon as when I lost my father.

We are living in dark times.

Do something to save your parents or grandparents before this happens to you.

They say Sarah Palin doesn’t have brains but she has about 40 percent of the country’s mmm… braaaaains… If ever a soulless, mindless, un-sentinent mob was created it’s at one of the recent Republican witchhunts rallies. They have sunk so low they can go no further. They are wallowing in the mud like the happy swine they are and have hit the bottom of the pit.

Look at what is happening. I’m becoming pissed and unhinged now. I’m trying to stay composed and positive, just like my candidate, but their lies and anger and slander is making my hair stand up and the blood run to my face. Anger breeds anger. That’s the dangerous contagious aspect of anger. It produces a similar reaction in its target. Have you ever been confronted out of the blue by a complete stranger and because they were irate and hostile you immediately took an unfriendly, emotional posture? It’s quite natural. Verbal assault creates a flight or fight reaction just like physical assaults. And I can tell you, Democrats are damn sick of flight.

This is what John McCain and his Vice Pitbull want. Division. Dis-Unity. All out social and racial domestic warfare. Who’s the domestic terrorist now, when your speakers incite your crowds to yell out ‘kill him’? That is a terrorist threat of the highest and most serious order!!! Threatening the life of our future president! You know, John, that one.

Even Pat Buchananon admits that what they’re trying to do is paint Obama as “not one of us”. It took a lot of prying and pulling from Chris Matthews but old wrinkly face copped to it. McCain is using that derision and fear and anger. He is sucking up his followers’ humanity one rally at a time.  I’m convinced that it’s not even about the election anymore.

The truth is much, much scarier. It’s blood-curdling.

What’s the only way to destroy this growing maelstrom of anger and hate? Love! Producing positive, hopeful vibes and energies towards our enemies. I’m serious. We need to do what Obama does. Smile and return to the issues, return to the importance of being hopeful, of using logic to win points, not the bullhorn or the epithet.

History will not be kind to McCain voters.

The more John turns into a monster and his crowds into zombie mobs the more I see a landslide coming. And deservedly. Let’s keep our wits in the face of this supernatural stupidity. Instead of yelling and arguing with our parents and grandparents, friends and co-workers that have been bit, lets just tell them in a soft and comforting voice, “Please, come home. Come back to the light”


4 thoughts on “BREAKING: Sarah Palin Owns Stock In Pitchfork And Torch Company; John McCain Creates Zombies

  1. Just ran across this looking for something else. You are so absurd! Anyone can the same rhetoric about any candidate. Obama’s campaign really used race to divide people, etc. I was at 2 Pallin rallies and they were full of young people who know their patriotic, small town values are now lost. I am just ducking my head now and realizing my life has changed forever and it is very sad.

    • I don’t understand what you’re talking about. We elect Obama to the presidency so small town values are now lost??? In exactly what way? Because you prefer the blind ignorance and narrow-mindedness of the republicans.

      You, my friend, are sad.

  2. Hey Sparky,

    How are you feeling about Obama and congress these days? Has the Prez embarassed you sufficiently? Has congress spent enough of future generations money to suit you? And how about pushing the Constitution off to the side to tread on your liberty – are you digging that too?

    Now, I realize that that CNN and MSNBC hasn’t TOLD you to feel that way as yet, I was just wondering if your Dad finally got through to you.

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