The Moon Disappeared and I Forgot to Care

I’m starting a new trend, I’m going to call all lakes lochs, just for fuck’s sake. “I’m going to Spaceland in Silverloch to check out the band Young Teens Dance In A Grease Fire.” That’s not a real band, but you wouldn’t be too surprised if it was I bet.

  • You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead
  • Dogs Die In Hot Cars
  • This Bike Is A Pipe Bomb

These are, sadly enough, all real names of bands.

Anyway, I like old Scottish terms and want to use them in everyday speech. Mind you, I don’t have any desire to speak with a Scottish accent, I just want to drop certain words into conversation every now and then, like “I’m really craving a wee heavy (strong beer) right now.”

Since about the time I was in high school it was my mission to create the slang term “yaz” for a piss. “I’ve got to yaz, I’ll be right back.” “Oh man, I took a huge yaz just now.” It hasn’t worked. And now there’s a birth control with that name so I’m guessing it will never reach the public lexicon.  E-40 I’m not.

Moving on.

There was a lunar eclipse tonight.

The big, round, disk in the sky briefly disappeared, and then slowly returned about an hour later. Thrilling. Wake me up when it’s a solar eclipse — that’s the type of shit that used to throw ancient peoples into mass panic, or the type of shit that could end wars — when the sun is blocked out and the Earth goes dark at noon, then I’ll be impressed.

A lunar eclipse, the way I see it, happens anytime a large cloud passes in front of it and obscures our faithful, little reflecting orb in the sky.

But then again, I missed most of the eclipse due to the fact that I didn’t realize the time online was Eastern time and not Pacific. There’s a chance I may be a little bitter about that.

It was on my birthday, too, so I’m guessing that means something…

I just have to figure out if it’s a blessing or a curse. Depends on which side of the cosmic fence you’re on, I suppose.

Carry on, laddies.

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