Notes From the Ant Empire: Graveyard Edition

Where have you been? Everyone has been asking.

Well, not really, but I’d like to think that I’ve been missed. I have been working on a new gig, and this week I’ve had the thrill of working the 9pm to 7am shift, the dreaded graveyard shift. It’s turning me into a zombie I tell ya.

I do all right untill it hits about 4 in the morning and then my eyelids start to sag like a 60 year-old’s breasts and my thought patterns start to flatline. I’m still awake, but the brain is not moving at the speed it should.

It’s 4am right now, and I’m trying to hang in there.

There’s no work to be done at the moment, which is worse than being busy because then all that tiredness has a chance to manifest itself, to well up in my being and scold my body for still being awake. If I was busy like the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland right now I’d have no problems, adrenaline would do the job, but instead my drowsiness is becoming unbearable. I figured I’d sit down and pound out a post to wake myself up.


Lack of sleep is the same as being drunk, but without any of the fun. You can’t think right, your body stumbles around when you walk, and all you want to do is go home and flop into your bed.

Anyway, the world doesn’t stop for one bleary-eyed writer to bitch and moan about it, so I will digress for the time being.


In a scene straight out the Wild West guards at an iraqi bank pulled off a heist that netted them almost a quater million dollars.

The robbery, of $282 million from the Dar Es Salaam bank, a private financial institution, raised more questions than it answered, and officials were tight-lipped about the crime. The local police said two guards engineered the robbery, but an official at the Interior Ministry said three guards were involved.

Both confirmed that the stolen money was in American dollars, not Iraqi dinars. It was unclear why the bank had that much money on hand in dollars, or how the robbers managed to move such a large amount without being detected.

Several officials speculated that the robbers had connections to the militias, because it would be difficult for them to move without being searched through many checkpoints in Baghdad

That’s a caper that deserve a rousing ovation, so Iraqi crooks, I salute you. Job well done.

Not to mention that the money was in American dollars. It must be nice to have millions and millions of dollars floating around the country, hanging around in a bank for the taking. Thieves and criminals brought it over there; and the guards that were supposed to protect it stole it.

It’s like bizzarroville over there in the Middle East.

The fact that it’s suspected that they have ties to the militas just makes you wonder what’s going to happen to that money. It’s probably not going to new playground equipment is my guess.

That place is fucked and we did the fucking.

Can we just leave already. Sheesh.


In lighter news, actually not news at all, but just a bunch of silly pictures, check out these ordinary stars from the Celebrity Obssessed Giant TMZ.

I’m really not sure if the one of Angelina Jolie is her or not. And are these real people, or just some clever photoshopping. I feel like a fool for not being able to tell.

Anyway, moving on.


The sun is coming up, its rays touch down on grass made of plastic blend. I hear snoring coming through headphones. I’m watching time code, waiting for it to hit the 7-hour mark. Life is a composite of words and pixels, editted thoughts, two-dimensional human beings in a tiny screen.

This is my life on the graveyard shift on a television show that never, ever ends… on a planet that spins, pirouettes, and wobbles.


And for no other reason than it’s five in the morning and my brain is going batty, I leave you with this entertainingly disturbing video of a man having his way with a storage room of pinatas. Male pinatas, female pinatas, and even an innocent dalmation.

Enjoy and good night, er, morning.


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