Los Angeles’ River of Shits and Pisses

The Beautiful Porcuincula River (AKA LA River) in Glendale.

A darling little flow of water cutting a swath of urban ugliness from the middle of the Valley down to Long Beach; a cemented and fenced off drain for all our piss and shit and motor oil and plastic bags and murder weapons, but in some places brave and equally psychotic ducks swim around in that filth.

London has the Thames, Paris has the Seine.

We get this.

But for some reason I love it.

No bank, no romantic bridges, no row boats, not even a current.

Just grafitti, some trash, and perhaps a gang of deranged ducks.

But to me, it means home.

The Mighty Porcuincula. The soul of Los Angeles.

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6 responses to “Los Angeles’ River of Shits and Pisses

  1. When I was a kid, we used to “raft” in shitty blow up sporting good store bought boats at the sporting good store. To say it stunk was an understatement and to say it wasn’t an adventure is total bullshit. I want to be one of those people who has to be pulled out of the L.A. river by chopper. So awesome…

  2. Let me apologize for the repetition in my previous post. I’m still at work since 10am this morning and a bit delirious, though I can now fart freely in my office as no one is here. Life is good.

  3. fart freely my friend, it’s the American way.

  4. i once dumped a murder weapon and took a shyt in the la river

  5. your shyt is a murder weapon, Mr. Smooth.

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