URGENT: TEMPS DROP BELOW 50

Los Angeles, CA.

Today temperatures dropped below 50 degrees and the citizens braced for more “sweater weather” to come. Cindy Bimboboob expressed concern for her minature dog. “Prince likes to go tinkle in my apartment courtyard, but I don’t feel like putting his sweater on him on Saturday nights. That’s my night!”

Weather forecasters warned of a possibility that people might have to bundle up. TV Weathermen took the time to display the proper way to wear a scarf without causing an accidental hanging. Officials are said to be on the lookout for anyone exhibiting symptons of the cold, including: blushed cheeks, people walking with their hands in their pockets, and couples cuddling.

Police have been given instructions to warn people that temperatures could reach the low 40’s. A spokesperson for the department had this to say, “right now what we’re experiencing is a nippy alert. Barring a sudden shortage of cocoa we’ll be alright. We’re prepared to handle this stage of cold, although if things deteriorate to a witch’s titty, we’ll need to call in backup. Right now, we’re no colder than a witch’s forehead.”

Developing…

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