Art of Starving

Entries from July 2008

Night Shift

July 29, 2008 · Leave a Comment

I’ve been working the night shift… the graveyard shift.

Whatever you want to call it.

Personally, I think the term ‘graveyard’ shift is a little harsh.

What’s that all about?

I suppose, back in the day, the only jobs one did at night were gravediggers. It’s a leftover… like, ‘Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater’. Back in the day, fools actually threw the baby out with the bathwater. Look it up.

You get a little reversed working all night, that’s my point.

You eat dinner for breakfast, and breakfast for dinner. You go to sleep watching The Golden Girls like it’s 1988. You forget if it’s Monday or Tuesday.

It’s disconcerting at first, but I’m starting to get used to it…

It’s like…

I’m always dead tired driving home, battling the freshly-rested, highly-caffeinated commuters – who all wish they could go back to bed, and that’s where I’m headed. The bed at the end of the night. 8, 10 o’clock in the morning. That’s the one bright side!

That and fresh breakfast.

I’ve developed a serious addiction to donuts. Especially twists. I eat something hot and fresh every morning and hit the road home where I blacken out the windows and curl up in my bed and watch morning television. 

MSNBC helps put me to sleep. Blanche Devereaux. The sitcom Still Standing. The Weather Channel.

So this why I haven’t been able to write as much lately. I’ve been a bat in a cave for the last three weeks. There’s nothing a bat can tell you about the world except about the cave and who wants to hear about a cave.

It’s obviously time for me to go to sleep.

While you work, I dream… as you sleep I work… and vice versa.

Turned upside-down at night. Like a gravedigger.

Categories: Culture

IN THIS STRANGE DREAM…

July 19, 2008 · 1 Comment

IN THIS STRANGE

DREAM OF MINE…

I AM A TISSUE-THROWING

TIGER THROWING TISSUE

AT MY TAMER

Categories: Art · Los Angeles · Photography

Tired…

July 11, 2008 · Leave a Comment

Bone-eyed tired I walked to get some coffee, stumbling over cracks like a somnambulist, the afternoon sun picking spots on my pupils to besiege. “Just another day in the city,” I heard a voice say and strangely it was my own. What is this? Vertigo? Am I dreaming?

A large trailer passed with an old man’s face on it grinning at me. His left cheek sort of punched out from within. It asked us to vote for him.

Have I mentioned that McCain gives me the willies.

I haven’t slept much the last couple of days. I think that’s what’s getting to me. Maybe it’s also the fact that my State is burning up and this feels like the summer of Hell with the gas prices and mortgage crises and fires and all my political vices –I start rapping unintentionally I’m so lost in my own Twilight Zone right now.

LET ME SAY IT AGAIN
I HATE MCCAIN.

But I’m sure that’s just psychological… I probably love him… he’s the best! He really is right about the war, except for the more than four thousand dead, and really is strong on the Economy. I mean, look how good it’s doing with all of his help these last eight years.

I’m just whining. Everything is just peachy.

You’ve got to love Republicans like Phil Gramm. Even more, you got to love the country yokels out there who actually thinkbelieve (I don’t think they’re doing much thinking actually) that Gramm and McCain are good old boys just like them. That somehow Obama, the latch-key kid who earned his way through Harvard, and was a community activist on the South Side of Chicago, is the elitist!

Republicans must be living in an alternate reality than us. Where Miley Cyrus photographs are provocative and Global Warming is just a small heat wave.

Am I alone in thinking that another sort of Dark Age is coming?

I think nightlife is going to go down in history as a 100-year phenomenon. Automobiles too. Camping. Stuff like that. I’m not apocryphal, so I don’t think it’s the end of mankind, just the end of the Modern World. First we used up all the whales, now we used up all the oil. Hopefully Mars has some fuel we can bring back to keep civilization running. Otherwise I’m going to get my farming on now. Anyone got some tomato plants?

With everything happening to our Environment, still, these neanderthals are so scared of the Islamic bogeyman that they’d rather spend billions and billions in Iraq, instead of investing in alternative energies at home. Really?!!!

Isn’t that sort of like putting the cart before the horseless carriage? Isn’t it much easier to just get a different kind of animal than to go to war over oats?

It’s depressing, for sure. And I’m tired, that’s why I’m talking like this, and probably not making any sense.

I’ve been reading a lot of this French philosopher whose name I can’t pronounce, Jean Baudrillard. He has a very interesting take on modern culture and mass media. Far ahead of his time, but the stuff he argued is even more apparent nowadays than in the 60’s and 70’s when he developed these ideas. I guess that’s what makes him “ahead of his time”.

Information devours its own content. It devours communication and the social. And for two reasons:
1. Rather than creating communication, it exhausts itself in the act of staging communication.  Rather than producing meaning, it exhausts itself in the act of staging meaning.
2. Behind the exacerbated mise-en-scene of communication, the mass media, the pressure of information pursues an irresistible destructurization of the social.

Okay, the translation from French is a little difficult and his prose is convoluted but the premise is rather simple: Our culture of infinite information and communication, rather than supplying more meaning and knowledge, destroys meaning and instead replaces it with more worthless information and communication. Think cable news! Think Bill O’Reily.

Baudrillard developed these views before the Internet too.

We’re surrounded by simulacra and simulation. We’re stuck in a wax museum realty. Internet Porn. DisneyLand. Not as opposite as one might think.

The Media produces a close approximation of the real, a heightened version, and thus it destroys our ability to recognize reality. The Tsunami hits Thailand and we think we’re experiencing it too, because of the pictures and videos producing a simulated disaster, broadcasted straight into our homes, we’re filled with false knowledge. In this simulacrum, meaning gets lost.

A soldier in Iraq describes the experience of battle as a game of Grand Theft Auto. Instead of movies and video games reflecting war, war reflects video games. The neo-hippies living in current day San Francisco are living a Baudrillardian lifestyle. Far from counter culture, it’s very much mainstream to copy thoughts and attitudes from previous eras, there’s nothing original about patchouli and tie dye anymore.

How many people describe their childhood in terms of TV shows or movies? “I grew up in a Leave It To Beaver family.” or “I was totally Ally Sheady from The Breakfast Club when I was in high school.”

Think of the recent ’scandal’ involving Jesse Jackson’s comments. Fox News – if ever a Network lived up to Baudrillard’s theories it’s them – flooded the airwaves with this bit of “information” as if there is some sort of “news” or “information” in it. A waste of chatter and discourse followed. Does our current media landscape help us navigate through the world, or create it’s own hyper-version of the world? where everything is distorted and seen through prisms?

While some might argue that the free flow of information and culture is what makes America great, others might say it’s what makes us weak-minded and easily persuadable. Brainwashed, distracted, and naive. Controled.

The Iraq War comes to mind.

Which brings us back to oil!

We need fuel for all of this distraction and nonsense to continue, though, and as much as I lament the current state of things, I kind of like them too. We all need to keep believing in the myth of money and stock markets and products that we don’t need and TV shows with no redeeming value, because if all these things stopped, the floor would fall out of the Economy, whatever is left of that deteriorating house.

Too bad we can’t tap into Conservative’s hot air for fuel. It seems like there’s an endless, renewable supply of that!

I hoped that made some sense.

Gawd… I need some sleep!

In other news: Check out Generation Kill, the mini-series from the creator of The Wire. It looks like a good one.

Categories: Culture · Politics

Stuffed and Drunk on America

July 6, 2008 · Leave a Comment

Globo says: “I had a blast on the Fourth!”

I saw four different sets of fireworks last night from a rooftop in Hermosa.

The sky over Los Angeles exploded all at once.

Fifty people gathered up on the roof to watch, spilling beers and shaking hands. Parents had their children up there and one little girl waved her glowstick around and said, “We have our own fireworks right here”, and I couldn’t help but chuckle and agree.

Before that, we spent the afternoon at the beach, drunkenly tossing a Frisbee into the surf or squinting at the Pacific, planted in our beach chairs like palm trees.

 

We got to the beach late. All the traffic in the city was headed one direction, West. We were caught up in it. My friend agreed to drive and I promised to sit in the passenger seat and make crude and often-unfunny jokes.

Half of Los Angeles crowds the shore from Palos Verdes to Malibu on the Fourth. After weighing our options, we decided to join them.

Once we got there, we ate sushi and terriyaki and drank Mexican beer from Styrofoam cups…

VH1 flew a banner advertising their new show I Love Money

We ended up at a house party with a bunch of Spaniards. Eating hot dogs and drinking Budweiser.

California is burning down, but we still went through the motions of blowing up fireworks and lighting sparklers.

It seemed like a fitting metaphor for the 4th of July.

God bless America, and all that…

I know, I know, the whole enterprise is so hollow. It’s just an excuse to party, and another chance for the Power Class to shove their notion of America down our throats, more messages on CNN from soldiers to loved ones back home. My wife is off in Connecticut, why can’t I don camouflage and wish her a happy Fourth on CNN? You have to wonder what the founding fathers would think of our celebrations. Would they feel sickened by how we’ve chosen to exercise our Liberty©?

Although, I’m sure Ben Franklin would approve.

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”
–Ben Franklin

Despite all that cognitive awareness happening in my brain, it’s like Christmas – you might be an Atheist, but you still get a kick out of watching your nephews open their gifts. I couldn’t help it. I was tipsy and the view from the rooftop was splendid. The Santa Monica Bay’s black water reflected the moon shimmeringly, and the burst of colors in the sky was spectacular. I was enjoying myself. From where I stood, at least, looking down on the beach, listening to the peaceful banter of the neighbors, the smell of barbecue and money in the air, America deserved to feel proud on her birthday.

We’re still a young country. Birthdays still mean something to us. America is a spoiled teenager and the Fourth of July is our sweet sixteen.

Let’s get a little drunk and act obnoxious. Tomorrow we’ll go back to being serious and argumentative.

Like I said, I couldn’t help it, I’m lucky to be American.

Not proud, just lucky.

Because pride is something you have to earn, like, I’m proud of writing my novella, or graduating school, or anything you had an active part in accomplishing. I just happened to be born here. So, I consider that more luck than anything.

I wanted to come home and write about it but instead we drove back from the South Bay, watching the illegal fireworks display light up the night sky as we sat in 405 traffic, to Culver City, and a karaoke bar, where we shared a quesadilla while listening to people sing their hearts out to cheesy pop songs while their friends and co-workers hooted them on.

The night came to a close with me falling asleep without brushing my teeth, (one of the only perks of my wife being away on vacation) after engaging in a Fourth of July ritual of mine – watching the day’s recap of firework mishaps and senseless violence on the news.

I couldn’t tell if I was dreaming or if the TV were reading my thoughts – there was a definite loss of distinction going on – some time went by like this, lost between reality and the news I was hearing, a shooting in Chicago… Big Sur on fire… dolphins in a New Jersey river. My thoughts bobbed around like a rubber ducky in a Whirlpool. Fading in and out of wakefulness, and drunkenness, the one thing that kept coming up to the surface was that I was dang grateful for designated drivers!

When I woke up, my stomach had its own Manifest Destiny underway and my mouth tasted like the Spanish-American War.

I was stuffed and drunk on America.

Categories: Culture · Los Angeles

Happy Fourth of July Present-Day Americans!

July 4, 2008 · Leave a Comment

Cue the hot dog eating contest.

Cue the excessive beer-drinking.

Cue the fireworks.

The Fourth of July is here, everybody. It’s time to celebrate America!

The weather is hot and uncomfortable and everybody is wearing tacky red, white, and blue patterns, but I don’t care. Believe it or not, Independence Day is one of my favorite holidays. I’m partial to any holiday that isn’t somber or forces you to buy gifts and instead only requires you to ‘party’ a little. Or a lot.

So basically today, Labor Day, and Memorial Day. I should like Halloween but my small fear of human beings in costumes kind of ruins that one for me.

The Fourth of July is the antithesis of 9-11. They’re both days we refer to solely by their date. 9-11 is the day we’re supposed to feel sad for being Americans, for suffering the blow of that day, and the Fourth is the day we’re supposed to feel happy to be American, for being born in a country so blessed and special as this one. They balance each other out in a way.

When we get to the Fourth, it’s inevitable you think about what it means to you. And lately it’s been easy to dwell on the negative. The wars. The sinking economy. The chatter of media.

I don’t know why we always talk about the founding fathers or world war two or some other irrelevant topic of yesteryear. That’s just propaganda to reinforce your brainwashing. You know, wash your brain, rinse, repeat.  

But there are things about present-day America that are so goddamn amazing that I feel like taking a flag pin and stabbing it right into my flesh. (‘These colors don’t bleed! I’ll scream while, actually, bleeding to death.)

For Fourth of July, 2008, this what I’m celebrating…

  • San Francisco. The city.
  • Sierra Nevada. The beer.
  • Big Sur. The heartache.
  • Bright Eyes. The band.
  • Barack Obama. The man.
  • The Cohen Brothers. The filmmakers.
  • George Saunders. The writer.
  • My wife. The Brazilian, now a U.S Citizen.
  • Our Colleges. The great institutions of personal growth and Education.
  • Italian Restaurants. The ability to co-opt the World’s treasures.
  • Roadside Attractions. The compelling weirdness of America.

And last but not least, the Liberal Blogosphere. The million bloggers taking on Rush Limbaugh daily. Hey, it’s a fair fight, that guy is, like, a-pizza-a-day  large!

There’s a whole lot more to be proud of. I just wanted to start the list.

If anyone wants to jump in, then heck, jump in! The water is perfect.

My behoved Big Sur…

 

Categories: Culture