Los Angeles, CA.
Today temperatures dropped below 50 degrees and the citizens braced for more “sweater weather” to come. Cindy Bimboboob expressed concern for her minature dog. 
“Prince likes to go tinkle in my apartment courtyard, but I don’t feel like putting his sweater on him on Saturday nights. That’s my night!”
Weather forecasters warned of a possibility that people might have to bundle up. TV Weathermen took the time to display the proper way to wear a scarf without causing an accidental hanging. Officials are said to be on the lookout for anyone exhibiting symptons of the cold, including: blushed cheeks, people walking with their hands in their pockets, and couples cuddling.
Police have been given instructions to warn people that temperatures could reach the low 40’s. A spokesperson for the department had this to say, “right now what we’re experiencing is a nippy alert. Barring a sudden shortage of cocoa we’ll be alright. We’re prepared to handle this stage of cold, although if things deteriorate to a witch’s titty, we’ll need to call in backup. Right now, we’re no colder than a witch’s forehead.”
Developing…
Categories: Los Angeles · Random
That’s not a typo. ABC says it was 16 degrees in Woodland Hills after midnight. That’s cold for LA. Freezing. As I type this Yahoo says it’s 38 degrees in Sherman Oaks. Lately I’ve been dreaming of snow. Not ash from a burning car, but the real thing, falling from the sky. 
In my dream my neighbors are standing in the street, catching it in their hands, smiling at each other. I keep checking the temperature, cheering it on lower. Chasing this impossible winter dream. I know I sound ridiculous, but this is exciting weather for LA.
An Alaskan cold front!
I keep looking out the window, but I don’t know what I’m expecting to see, an ice cube? A snowman?
* * *
When I was younger I imagined the hills in my neighborhood covered with snow. There was a golf course just down the street that would have some sweet jumps should a blizzard ever strike LA. I pictured snowboarding all the way down to the market.
I’m still waiting.
One time it hailed and the hail gathered on the lawn. My roomates and I ran across the driveway and then hit the lawn sliding. Ten minutes later it stopped and the rain melted all the ice. We didn’t even have time to take pictures.
I think I’m going to put on a knit cap and go stand outside.
If I’m lucky I might even shiver. I might see my breath. I might utter, “damn, that’s cold.”
Categories: Los Angeles · Random
